Compatibility
Earlier this year, I had plans in going to Boston to be with my biological father (whom I’ve never met by the way), to try my luck there and to actualize my long over due citizenship confusion. So here’s the plan. I will go there, get a job and when I’m quite stable, invite my ex-girlfriend over for her to work there.
It didn’t happen. One week before my departure, we got back together. She asked me to stay because she said she couldn’t stand being away from me for a long time. I was moved. So I stayed (That’s how stupid I am). After a few days, she told me that she is enrolled in this some kind of a government program. Her reason for taking up the program? To be able to go abroad.
Yup. I had the same reaction.
She stopped me from leaving then she’ll leave me. She has other plans and none of which includes me. I was expecting that she’ll consult me if I’m okay with that idea because I’ve always included her in all my plans. She never did. If we weren’t together, I’d understand. She wants me to just follow all her plans. She said she will go some place else then she’ll ask me to follow.
Yup, I know what you’re thinking.
She never even asked me if it’s ok for me to follow. Isn't it somewhat unfair?
I do understand that she is doing this for her family so I stretched my patience and tried to understand. Until one day I found out that she lied to me about her government program. I felt unloved that moment. If she’s really concerned about me, she could have told me the truth because after all, there is big possibility that we’ll be together for the rest of our lives. I never said a word about it. I was waiting for her to tell me the truth. She was lying all along and I feel so hurt. One day, I woke up not interested with her anymore. I don’t want to see her or even talk to her. It pisses me off whenever she approaches me. I don’t know if I still care about her. Well I guess, the feeling is mutual because I never heard anything from her. She has been lying to me long before I knew it. Of course it hurt me – a lot. I never confronted her because I was hoping that she’d change her mind and tell me the truth. But, it’s too late.
Now I’m stuck here in the Philippines, waiting for the next Boston opportunity. If I only boarded in that plane I could have been with my father now. I must admit that I regret it. I was put into test. I chose her happiness over my long lost dad. I never expected that she’ll do the same for me but she could have told me about her plans so that I can somewhat re-arrange all my plans in life. Now, she chose to be on her own and put me aside, expecting me to wait patiently for her return. She’s treating me as if I’m her possession who will just follow everything she wants me to do. I was so blinded by my affection for her. At first I thought I could never let her go. Well I was surprised one day that I actually did let her go. And there’s no turning back.
Now I can say that I’m fine. I’m perfectly fine. I was able to get through it with the help of my friends who have been very supportive. I’m not looking for a new love as of the moment nor do I welcome the idea of being in love in the next few months. I just want to live a simple life. Finish my MA and start with my PhD. Laugh with friends and stay cool with my family. Bond with as many friends I can and make other people happy. What have I learned out of this? Not to be impulsive. Think also about myself, not just about other people. Think twice. Think thrice. Think and don’t follow my heart right away. Don’t trust too much. That’s about it.
Have a nice day!
Posted by forgotten-vodka
at 7:15 PM JST
Updated: Thursday, 11 June 2009 11:11 AM JST
Proud
Mood:
cool
Topic: life kong weird
I’m so proud of my gf, feeling ko bagong graduate din ako hehe tapos na ang mga psych term papers namin, mga homeworks at lalong-lalo na tapos na ang aming thesis haha ang galing hehe I know she worked hard for this and I’m so proud of her!
Posted by forgotten-vodka
at 11:25 AM JST
Eto na Talaga...
I think malapit na…hehe hindi ko na kasi kaya eh…etong nanyari ngayong araw…give-up na ko tlg…bahala na kung anong mangyayari sa mga susunod na araw. Kung nandyan eh di nandyan, kung wala eh di wala…nawala sa isip nya na sabihan ako? Sakit nun, napaluha nga ko sa sakit eh.. importanteng event sa buhay nya tas nawala ako sa isip nya?
Posted by forgotten-vodka
at 4:37 PM JST
Panda Bear
Topic: Graduation
Nakay kat na yung cds! I can’t imagine na natapos ko yung 13 chapters na yun. The original plan was 3 chapters lang…nadagdagan lang naman ng 10 haha pero hindi pa talaga ko satisfied eh. Pero atleast makakatulog na ko sa gabi haha 2 weeks akong puro project pinagpupuyatan, mukha na kong panda bear. Pero kung hindi ako natulog eh di sana natapos ko yun lahat, sana tig-2 cd sila lahat hayyyyy nalulungkot ako….
Posted by forgotten-vodka
at 5:33 PM JST
Bwisit Burner
Topic: Graduation
I started finalizing everything and start na rin ng pag-burn. Ang malas ko pa, nasira yung burner ko. Naayos sya banda 11:30pm na so nun lang ako nagstart pagburn. I slept around 2am kasi di na kaya ng mata ko, then got up at 5am cos I have work pa. Hay grabe to tlg!
Posted by forgotten-vodka
at 8:32 PM JST
Song Sequence
Topic: Graduation
I sent her the song sequence already. I had to divide the pictures to fit in the songs hehe I had to add 2 songs pa kasi dumami naman yung sinend ni kat sakin. Yung salamat, the dawn pala kumanta nun. Ayaw ko pa ilagay nung una kasi parang di bagay eh sabi ni kat yun daw gusto ng mga classmate nyang lalaki so sige na nga! At chaka yung through the years…wala lang nakkaiyak lang hehe Were almost done, konting touches na lang. I decided to create a new section, part 13 for the pictures na may isa o dalawang tao lang tas sobrang lapit sa mukha ng kuha…yung mga camera phone pix…and kat wants na babae po ako yung song kaso wala ko mahanap kaya Cinderella na lang haha wah sumusuko na ko sa hirap, puyat na puyat na ko haha para sayo to kat hahaha hmp
Posted by forgotten-vodka
at 10:31 PM JST
Epilogue
Topic: Graduation
I decided to write an epilogue for the video hehe ayan rush tuloy ang paggawa ko…kat helped me pa, she contributed the 1st 4 lines then tinapos ko na din hehe it added spice to the video so ok na hehe ayoko na kay my#4 hehehe gang 3 na lang haha basta lang hahaha
Posted by forgotten-vodka
at 3:30 PM JST
Away dahil sa Credits
Topic: Graduation
Kat and I had a misunderstanding. Away kami dahil sa credits haha eh kasi nababanas na ko sa madadamot nyang classmate na ayaw magsend ng gradpix at ube awards eh nangangarag na nga kami, nilagay ko sa credits na ayun, gusto ipaalis ni kat. Eh ayaw ko at hindi ko talaga yun aalisin. Hmp magbago na sila, few days na lang graduate na sila madadamot pa din! Buti nag-online si shobe and sent me her grad pic and some class pictures. Buti na lang kasi kung hindi magmamaktol uli ako! Nagseself pity na nga ko kasi wala man lang sumusuporta sakin ni isa from her class. Huhu pictures lang naman hinihingi ko eh, para sa kanila naman yun, laki na nga ng investment ko sa cd, paper at cd case eh…btw, I printed the CD labels already. Be happy CJ ok lang yan hehehe psych it up na lang…chaka atleast happy kasi had an opportunity din to have a chat with my#1 hehehe
Posted by forgotten-vodka
at 5:29 PM JST
Virus
Topic: Graduation
Nasabi ko na ba? Na-virus yung PC ko sa dami ng pinupuntahan kong sites sa kakahanap ng mga pix ng mga classmate nya? Ayun nabura eh hmp at eto simula nanaman ako mula sa simula huhuhuhu
Posted by forgotten-vodka
at 10:28 PM JST
Salamat
Topic: Graduation
Kat sent me the final set of pictures. At hindi sya kasya talaga sa isang kanta o dalawang kanta lang. She is asking me to find the salamat song….kasi gusto daw yun ng guys….san naman kaya ko hahanap nun hmp
Posted by forgotten-vodka
at 9:26 PM JST
